Book #9 - Saving Graces

I remember the first time I caught her.

Pants down around her ankles, feet dangling, elbows resting on her knees, and nose tucked deep into an early chapter book while reading:

ON THE TOILET!

My daughter Kate (7) loves to read.  While I should be grateful for her advanced reading skills, I wonder at times if her favorite pastime has gone a bit extreme.  On occasion, after three to four hours of reading on her bed, I’ve asked Kate to come and join the world of living people outside her room.  Constantly losing track of her paperbacks, I’ve limited her to checking out 15 books from the library per week instead of the 25 to 30 she wants.

I understand her zeal.  I love to read too, but I worry.  Is this my fault?  Am I setting an anti-social example?

I get more excited about browsing through the public library than attending a cocktail party.  I’d much rather receive books as gifts than an iPhone, iPad, fashion accessories, expensive purses, or gourmet food.  Left alone for a few hours, my ideal activity would be to climb in bed with a good book.  However, I’m not completely comfortable with being a book nerd.  If friendships are the road to happiness, than it’s possible that the hours I spend reading are not serving my best interests.

I want to become a people person.

people person

noun Informal

an outgoing, gregarious person with good communication skills

This week I read the memoir of a woman with amazing people skills:  Elizabeth Edwards.  Her book, Saving Graces, caught my eye with it’s subtitle:  Finding solace and strength from friends and strangers.  Saving Graces tells about Ms. Edward’s life, her upbringing in a military family, the death of her 16 year old son, experiences campaigning for her husband, and her battle with breast cancer. 

In her personal stories, Elizabeth shows how being social, sharing her life with others, talking to strangers, and opening her home to friends, helped her through tough times and brought her joy.  When Ms. Edwards talks to customer service people, she uses their names.  During her husband’s campaign, she handed out homemade song books on the tour bus and sang her way from state to state.  At Christmastime, she sends out over 800 invitations to her family’s holiday open house and makes the food herself.

While I admire her people skills, implementing them was a challenge.  At a doctor’s appointment, I decided to call the staff by their first names.  I fully intended to say “Thanks Coco,” to my gynecologist’s medical assistant, but I just couldn’t spit it out.  It’s hard enough to act serious while wearing a paper gown.  I don’t know Coco and she doesn’t know me.  Using her name seemed too forced and too personal. 

A few days later, I tried singing with my boys.  We had 30 minutes to kill until Kate’s art class ended.  I was tired of standing in the cold at the park, throwing basketballs at ridiculously tall hoops, and retrieving the balls from the bushes.  I had no song books in the car, but that didn’t matter.  Jack (4) and Rock (3) can’t read.  Instead, while sitting in the back of the minivan, we took turns choosing what songs to sing.  After a few rounds, I was singing solos.  Jack even yelled,

“STOP SINGING!”

Ms. Edwards’ home contains a flurry of people.  She gathers her children’s friends, her husband’s associates, reporters, and politicians, and feeds them around her dining table.  I don’t dare send out 800 invitations to a party at my home.  It isn’t that big and I don’t even know that many people.  However, I have resolved to invite at least one guest each week to Sunday dinner this year.  I think I can drum up at least 52 friends.  I’ll be reporting my progress at http://www.52friendsfordinner.blogspot.com/.

Saving Graces was published in 2006.  Elizabeth Edwards lost her battle with breast cancer in December 2010.  News stories reported that in her final hours, she was surrounded by her children, husband, and close friends.

Not surrounded by books she loved, but people she loved.

I hope for that too.